University is hard work. You have to THINK a lot more than you used to. Not necessarily academically, but deffinitely in all other aspects.
I don't know whether this is something teporary that'll fade with time, or if it is permanent, but at this stage in my now almost 7 month journey it feels pretty long term to me.
The thing is, when you have to think too much about something, it becomes work. When it's work, it's not fun anymore and you naturally try to avoid it.
My theory is that this is why students drink (Well okay, probably one of seven thousand other reasons). Alcohol makes things easier, it helps you to stop thinking so much and makes everything so much less trouble.
People, in this case students, are constantly searching for ways to make life easier. Maybe it is the era we grew up in, with technology making everything 'simpler, better, faster', but that is the reason for most of our actions. I'm not saying this is a bad thing! Hey, if life could be easier then why do it the hard way?? My question is, what IS easy? If we're all busy trying to make life easier, why is it then so damn hard?
The only reason I could think of for my life still being hard, is people and then of course myself.
We make life so much harder for each other, on the one hand judging others on every single thing they do, wear, buy or say, but also caring about what others think about the things you do, wear, buy or say. We even make it hard for others to love us, not just romantically, but in a 'love your neighbour' kind of way.
The other day we were camping at a resort in the Drakensberg and on my way back from a sunrise photo-taking-session, I see one of the workers packing the life size chess set out of the store room. Something cane over me on that cold morning, a 'pay it forward' kind of thing, and I asked if I can help her (which when I think of it now could've sounded pretty strange to her). She answered with a short 'No' and added that she starts work at seven and has to finish.
This is a classic example of double-sided complicated-ness. The lady refused to let me help her, probably because she was suspicious of my motives and totally confused by my out-of-the-blue offer. I on the other hand, was totally caught off guard by her immediate refusal of my help offering, probably because I expected some kind of satisfaction from offering my help, and in essence a part of myself, out of love to that person. I was also upset by her refusal for at least another 2 hours and silently promised myself to never do something like that again.
My conclusion for myself is that I am the one resposible for making life harder for myself and others. We complicate unnecessary things and take life and other's opinions too seriously. Too relate my title to this text, I have to love somebody. That somebody being myself, my friends, my family and my neighbour. I have to love without expectation, without judgement and with my whole self. Not worrying about the reaction, but getting my satisfaction out of my action to love. I have to accept the love from others without suspision or conditions.
In other Queen words: "This could be heaven for everyone. This world could be fed, this world could be fun. There should be love for everyone. This world should be free, this war could be won. We should bring love to our daughters and sons. This could be heaven for everyone!"
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